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Developing Trust

Trust is something that is earned. Trust can be broken easily when lies are told, secrets are kept about hurtful occurrences in family relationships, and confidences are betrayed. There are only some instances when a confidence should be broken. Those are the instances when abuse is happening and it needs to be reported to a respected authority. The disclosure of abuse requires action. Regaining trust is a process that takes days, months and sometimes years. There are some trusts that are never regained. Like the trust that a child once had in a perpetrator. Can perpetrators ever learn to be trustworthy again? The answer is yes, but it is a very difficult process. The statistics show that 85% of child abusers re-offend. It is a nasty cycle that repeats itself generation after generation. Who can break that cycle? The cycle breaks with you and with me. We are all responsible for being trustworthy individuals for the innocents of this world. We are all called to be a safe ha...
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Finding Safe Harbour When You've Been Abused

It is difficult to find a safe place when everything inside of you is in chaos. Sometimes, it is difficult to identify where the chaos begins and where it ends. For people who have suffered abuse, the chaos begins when the abuse occurs. Often adults don't know why they feel chaotic. They don't remember periods of early abuse, or they feel like their worlds are spinning out of control. One way adults use to control remembering periods of abuse is to self-medicate. Self-medication comes in several forms: alcohol, elicit drugs, prescription drugs, food, and sex. Yes, sex is a form of medication when used in excess. It is better to not self-medicate if possible. If an adult has been abused in childhood, it is better for the adult to seek help in the form of psychotherapy with a professional who has experience in treating trauma. I do not recommend that clergy treat trauma unless they are specifically trained to treat trauma. Trauma has complicated outcomes. Some individuals have un...
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