Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Developing Trust

Trust is something that is earned. Trust can be broken easily when lies are told, secrets are kept about hurtful occurrences in family relationships, and confidences are betrayed. There are only some instances when a confidence should be broken. Those are the instances when abuse is happening and it needs to be reported to a respected authority. The disclosure of abuse requires action.

Regaining trust is a process that takes days, months and sometimes years. There are some trusts that are never regained. Like the trust that a child once had in a perpetrator. Can perpetrators ever learn to be trustworthy again? The answer is yes, but it is a very difficult process. The statistics show that 85% of child abusers re-offend. It is a nasty cycle that repeats itself generation after generation.

Who can break that cycle? The cycle breaks with you and with me. We are all responsible for being trustworthy individuals for the innocents of this world. We are all called to be a safe harbour for the child who needs to talk about the secrets they are keeping locked inside. If we will take the time to listen, perhaps the pattern of child abuse can be broken permanently. Those who perpetrate most often have been abused themselves as children. Hence, it is tantamount that we, as a society, learn to listen, validate, and stand up to see that those who need help can get the help that they need.

Trust then becomes the Total Reliance Upon Safe Touch. Teach your children that it is ok to talk to you about all of their relationships. Talk to them about what good touch is and what unsafe touch is. Encourage them to refrain from engaging in rough play.

If we all effectively use these practices, we will begin to stem the tide of what is known as child abuse and betrayal of trust.

RamyB, MMFT

2 comments:

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RamyB

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